Ok, so much for applying for the grant - that didn't happen. I suck.
I literally had the application sitting in front of me and got as far as coming up with the project I want to work on...even sought out a tentative commitment to host an exhibition...
Then I stopped.
Not sure why. Maybe the fear of losing my motivation to make art when I am REQUIRED TO as opposed to when I feel the desire to. I just can't seem to to turn it on when I want to - or if I do, I hate the things I create. The project I have in mind I'd rather be ALL IN instead of forced to pump out sub-par work just to meet a deadline.
I've been making Zentangles the past few weeks...they are SOOO relaxing to make! It's akin to the art I have made my whole life where I get into a groove and lose myself while making it. Very satisfying!
I sat today and talked to someone whose mother is about to lose her batter with cancer. It was a difficult conversation but for some reason I did not feel like I was pressing, asking questions...letting him talk about what has been difficult these past few weeks. What is there to say...feel bad...
Without being too specific I am officially out of something that has made my life easier the past 5 months and it's giving me anxiety. Nuff said.
I am donating two items to Cirque du Noir this upcoming Sunday - a black red and white scarf, pieced from cotton scraps and a necklace with some felted beads...I just need to add some finishing touches to each and drop them off tomorrow.
Up next...finish the eye project I started with Scott. I asked him if he would like to make a few smaller versions so I could make them up for the Station show in December and maybe share a space. We'll see...
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